I am writing a short post on a subject that we are all faced with at some point in life and that is forgiveness. Forgiveness is hard for most of us especially when it is someone close to you that hurts you. I think it is hard because we have set standards and when a person goes against those standards, it is your feeling that it can’t be repaired. What usually happens is the person you can’t forgive, goes on with their life. Your non-forgiveness holds you hostage and you are not at peace.
Sometimes when I struggle with forgiving someone I ask myself why is this bothering me so much especially if I am not wrong. It all about finding peace. If the situation is constantly on your mind or if you are left with unsettling feelings then maybe it is time to consider forgiving the person. Forgiveness is not about the person that has committed the transgression. Forgiveness is about the person doing the forgiving. This is how you find peace with that situation. You are also set free from the situation and your past. You are free to move on. There are those occasions where you fear moving on without that person regardless of the hurt you have endured. In this case, you must ask yourself, What positives nuggets are this person depositing in my life? If the answer is none, forgive and walk away. If the answer is they bring some positive nuggets to the table, then see if the positives outweigh the negative and you still need to forgive them.
I am a Christian and I am taught all the time about forgiveness and what always comes to mind is how Jesus forgive us when we not worthy. Remembering this helps me with the process of forgiving.
Forgiveness takes the heavy weight that is bearing down on you, off of you. It provides peace. It does not erase the wrongdoing but you are able to be at peace with it. Take back your power and forgive!! I encourage you today to take that first step and forgive that person and see how much better you will feel!!!
Below was a recent Facebook post of mine:
Let’s start some serious conversation. For those that have read my book Forbidden To Tell, you know it is about a woman who was molested in her past. Well, I would like to discuss how molestation in many families is treated as something you should never talk about. I believe talking about it is part of the healing process. I was a victim but when I released that secret I was able to begin my healing process. I know that this is a serious topic but let me hear from you!
When I posted this, I did not expect to get any replies. To my surprise, I got 3 comments. Still not enough for such a prevalent problem. That is because there are so many that hold on to the secret of being molested because of fear of embarrassment or because they feel in some way responsible. It sets some up for a life of failed relationships and in some cases a life consumed with fear.
How do you tell a parent that another parent has touched you inappropriately? How do you tell your friend that you were molested at a party? First thoughts are what did I do to deserve this? How do we empower victims to come forward and not be fearful? I don’t have the all the answers but our court systems need to hold these criminals accountable and stop treating them like petty criminals. They are stealing and destroying people’s lives. Just as bad as murder in my eyes. So many get a slap on the wrist and move on to the next victim. Then parents need to pay attention to their children. Don’t be so blinded by love that you can’t see what is happening to your children.
As a victim of molestation, I can tell you that it can make you feel worthless. It took a lot of prayer and support from my husband to be able to talk about it. Unfortunately, not everyone has that support system. There are support groups out there but once again it is the fear that stops us from reaching out for help.
I am not an expert but I have experience, so let me leave you with this; In order for me to make the step towards healing, I had to realize that I was not at fault. Next, I had to verbalize what happened to me. It helped to talk to others who experienced being molested and truly knew what I was going through. And lastly, I had to learn to whom I truly belong and that I am a child of God. It is not an easy road but you must take small steps toward your healing and take your life back!!
So excited to unveil my updated book cover for Forbidden To Tell!! Please let me know what you think. Try to step my game up with my book covers. I think this book cover adds the mysterious look and feel of the book.
My first blog is just an introduction to who I am; I am a published author, CEO and founder of SMS Write On Publishing, LLC, a wife and mother, website designer, lifetime learner. Always looking to increase my knowledge. I am very passionate about writing.
Some people have asked me why I write or how do you do it. The simple answer is I enjoy telling stories. I enjoy putting down my thoughts and sharing my imagination. There are so many stories bottled up in my head and I now have the opportunity to put it in writing. Now via my new blog, I have another avenue to write.
I have a Bachelors Degree in Business Administration and a Masters Degree in Computer Information Systems with a focus on Security. I currently work for Ingram Micro, Inc. as a Senior Market Development Specialist in Finance. I have been with Ingram Micro for 20 years.
And lastly, I enjoy engaging conversations.
That is just a little sneak peek into who I am but most of all, come back and check out my future posts!!